oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
