I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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