I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think my moral compass just broke
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