...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He better not be in your backpack
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
