He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
