(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
