he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
