i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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