bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
