How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
