Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
