its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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