He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
