I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
