Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
