I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
All I want is dick and wine.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
