garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
