why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
