Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
