tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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