apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
