I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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