he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
