We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
