May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
