her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
