you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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