I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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