I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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