i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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