She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
