I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
