I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
