Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I could make wine with my vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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