mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
