Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
