I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
