Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
