So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
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Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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