State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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