she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
