CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
