Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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