she smelled like a LAN party
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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