Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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