She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
