There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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