Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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