I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
