Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
