I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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