I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
