Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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