he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
