Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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