after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
