You really coming over, don't trick.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
