Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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