I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
