Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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