:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
