My friends, they love my intelligence
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You're like the curious george of whores
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Randomize
