Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I want her autograph on my taint
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
