a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize