I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Plan B is the new Plan A
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
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